We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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