u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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