sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize