I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
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Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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