I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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