Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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