If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize