Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/p911
  Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (4530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2022) Bad night (6055) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing.. http://tfl.nu/daro
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (3023) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants. http://tfl.nu/tdj1
  Replies (13) Good night (5222) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4175) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (682): I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery. http://tfl.nu/qxsn
  Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future http://tfl.nu/1p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2394) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight http://tfl.nu/6sqo
  Replies (17) Good night (2880) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/noz9
  Replies (12) Good night (514) Bad night (2837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later http://tfl.nu/qouw
  Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare. http://tfl.nu/aa8b
  Replies (17) Good night (2098) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/t1ua
  Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that. http://tfl.nu/ou7s
  Replies (6) Good night (1874) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle. http://tfl.nu/2vsv
  Replies (4) Good night (1262) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard. http://tfl.nu/4gv4
  Replies (1) Good night (843) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt

Randomize