i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday