Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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