the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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