**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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