I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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