I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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