How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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