thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize