Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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