You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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