Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize