Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
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Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void