I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I take back everything I said about communal showers
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often