good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
