Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
