I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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