I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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