I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize