I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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