she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize