I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
