I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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