You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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