Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My penis needs a shock collar
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The adults are the big ones right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
