I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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