yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
