i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
