So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.