It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs