I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.