I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"