I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories