Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.