I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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