I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
