this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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