I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My nipple is on Facebook.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.