It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew