I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After tacos, we're chasing women.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.