Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin