fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
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You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
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In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.