She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
North Korea, Best Korea!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
