I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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