Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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