Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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