his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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