absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
