I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.