Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name