Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
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he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
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She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.