dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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