That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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