It was confusing and full of hummus
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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