Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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