she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
